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Is your ego satisfied?

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I played DDR this weekend. My first DDR’ing in almost two years. My brother wanted to see me “in action”, the way I was in a darker part of my life, and I had to oblige.

The version was Supernova. New to me, but it all worked the same. Same Playstation-esque graphics. Same annoying announcer. Same high quality pad that still feels kind of innacurate at times.

And an absolute truckload of songs. A few I’ve seen before, many I haven’t. With just three songs at my disposal and an embarrassingly quiet arcade around me, I couldn’t cycle through them all. I don’t think I would have if I had the chance. It is one thing to have a lot of content. →  They’re reading her… and then they’re going to read me!

Bullshit, eat fresh!

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Has anyone else seen the recent Subway commercial that has a fat kid playing a Pacman clone? The game seems to consist of controlling a fat kid (not to be confused with the fat kid who is actually playing the game) and eating donuts and cake. For the sake of your time, I’ll ignore the shoddy game design and collision detection.

It’s harder to ignore the gist of the commercial, though. “What kind of eating habits are you kids learning?” it asks. America is the fattest country in the world. If little porkers are learning how to have multiple heart attacks, I guarantee it’s not video games that are teaching them. Why doesn’t Subway make an honest commercial that shows Fat Junior’s hippopotamus parents scarfing down fried hot dogs? →  Videolamer does what IGNotDoes.

How the UMD could have won

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Last week Gamestop had a Memorial Day weekend sale where they sold all their UMD movies for the awesome price of $4.99. And seeing as how I actually own a PSP, I jumped on that one like….well, something that jumps really fast.

For only $50, I got 10, count ’em 10, UMD movies, and all of them are actually worthing of being watched. I’m talking Snatch, The Fifth Element, and one of my all-time personal favorites, Ghostbusters. Now my train rides won’t consist of me reading a book. Phht, like books are ever gonna catch on…

So after having a full week of watching movies on my PSP, I have to say that it’s actually pretty damn cool. The quality of the video, as well as being formatted in a widescreen ratio, makes watching movies on my handheld a very enjoyable experience. →  Imagine all the gamers playing for today

Saturn is the sixth planet :)

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Let’s do some Saturn speculation. The original Panzer Dragoon was just released on Gametap this week. After months of waiting to get my hands on this classic, I fired the baby up, only to watch as it ran at a cripplingly slow, unplayable framerate. Now my machine isn’t the beefiest thing on the block, but it can still run a good deal of modern games at above minimum specs. If it can do Half Life 2 at 1024, why the hell not Panzer Dragoon?

The basic answer is simple; the game’s recommended specs ask for 512 megs of RAM, 128 meg card, and a CPU better than 2.0 Ghz (My machine fulfills two of those three criteria). But why such ridiculous specs for such an old game? →  Nobody puts article in a corner.

The Wii Has Won!!!! Wait, What?

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Fortune has apparently deemed the Wii as the winner of the next-gen video game console race, featuring the Wiinner’s Circle on their cover, along with a fairly lengthy article talking about everything Nintendo has done right with its system.

It’s a fascinating read [via CNN], but one thing struck me as odd though, and it was a quote from Jack Tretton:

“But if you look at the industry, any industry, it doesn’t typically go backwards technologically. The controller is innovative, but the Wii is basically a repurposed GameCube. If you’ve built your console on an innovative controller, you have to ask yourself, Is that long term?”

He does have a point, but let me ask you this: how old is this industry? →  Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.

It’s only fun if I pay for it

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This holiday I spent some time with my old friend Commodore. Not the patriarch himself, but the sixty third child to bear his name. We did some catching up and despite looking like hell, Commodore is still a lot of fun. But then theres a problem with emulating your friends; they feel cheap.

When I was younger I had to spend my parents hard earned money to buy every single game I owned. Now with the advent of emulation, I download dozens of designers entire careers in a matter of hours. McGruff may be upset that I have turned to a life of crime, but there is a deeper issue than ethics at work here.

I can’t convince myself to spend a significant amount of time with any one emulated game. →  Postlanser: Heritage of Read

namageM: AB

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AB2

Christian’s extremely informative review of the Metal Slug Anthology reminds us that sometimes anthologies can wrap in their splendor those thorns that might serve to sully and distort our otherwise wonderful memories of a franchise.

Though Metal Slug Anthology’s load issues, weird menus and interesting controller choices may serve to take the edge off of an otherwise perfect arcade port, there are some cases, indeed some entire franchises, where these issues are not merely — as those that would use the word ‘niggle’ might say — a niggle.

I purchased the Mega Man (Megaman, Rockman, Blue Bomber, etc) 20yr Anniversary Collection for the GC with, literally, a big toothy grin. I have tiny little teeth, and this sort of thing is hard for me — but I did it. →  Tony Hawk’s Pro Reader 3

Worm$

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Worm$

I know the argument about microtransactions has been done to death. As such, let me get my view out of the way before delving into a subject that I think has been avoided publicly for too long.

I like microtransactions and think that the idea has merit. I like buying VC games for a few bucks. I have a job and can afford to buy my TG-16 collection over again for pennies on the dollar. I know this isn’t the case for everyone; I am not writing from everyone’s point of view.

I like buying add-ons. I like Live Arcade and I like picking up schwag/gear/icons/whatever for my games. I endorse monetary obfuscation by way of numeric transmogrification; I think it is a neat idea that my American dollar is actually equal to 80 crazy moon credits and I like spending those moon credits on pointless crap to enhance my gaming experience. →  Oops, I did it again.

C4T4N!!!1!1!11one

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C4T4N!

This is not a review. You’ve played Catan and you love it. If you haven’t, you will. If you don’t there is something broken with the gamer inside of you and it needs to be fixed. Let me suggest an age old cure: Play Catan.

I spent Memorial Day settling Catan. A great time, to be sure. Fun was had, Catan was settled, achievements unlocked and a whole lot of settlements were built. What was not fun, however, was finding out that Microsoft’s xBox Live skill based matchmaking service is actually a portal to a goddamned other dimension; one whose petulant inhabitants do things that resemble settling Catan but interpret any reciprocal action as some sort of lurid farce and act on what seems to be merely impulse when entering any sort of communicative contract. →  May God smite me if I stop reading here!

TV in and Out

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While waiting at home to hear back from employers, I’ve been spending time fiddling with the electronics in my room. I finally attempted to put the S-video out on my video card to use, and got my TV set hooked up to the PC. It has become something of a revolution for me, being able to play the multitude of arcade classics on Gametap on a big display with decent sound instead of from my computer stool. I’m trying out all sorts of games that I never gave a chance before now that I have an opportunity to play them from a more comfortable position. Perhaps I’ll utilize this to do more reviews of old school games!

More importantly, I’ve discovered that there is some use for this old TV after all. →  Final Post VII