Reviews

Review – Baten Kaitos

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Baten Kaitos
Developed by Monolith Soft
Published by Namco
Released 11.16.04

Fruity woman
This sort of looks like a still life from the 16th century. (My art major girlfriend informs me I’m wrong, nevermind.)

Here’s a tip for designers and translators. One of the words in your title must be in the language of your market. I worked on a game called Elrelis Bled once upon a time and the name worked because the second word of the title is a verb we all understand. We can deduce then that Elrelis is a person, place, or something that can bleed. What exactly is a Baten Kaitos? Does Baten Kaitos or does Kaitos Baten? Are both words nouns or is it just gibberish? Am I ignorant for not understanding Japanese or should the localization team tried a bit harder?

Actually, it turns out I’m just an idiot. Baten Kaitos is a constellation. Let’s pretend that last paragraph never happened and once again thank the power of the internet for saving me from my ignorance yet again. →  Oreshika: Tainted Postlines

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Review – Weird Worlds

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Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space
Developed by Digital Eel
Published by Shrapnel Games
Released 11.4.05

Deep space
Unknown seldom means good in deep space…

I am one of those lucky people who is blessed with a job that is mostly unsupervised, and is prone to periods of downtime. As a result, I often find myself paid to play video games. Unfortunately, I am often required to get to work on a moment’s notice, thus precluding most online games from combating my work boredom. Further, my work laptop can’t quite run Civilization 4 at the speed I’d like it to. I found myself stumped for something good to pass the time.

I had seen a plug for Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space on Penny Arcade a few weeks ago, and figured what the hell. Low system requirements, a low price (a mere $25, for a quick downloadable .ISO file) meant I had little to lose, and everything to gain.

Weird Worlds is a single player, turn based game with a real time battle system. →  Oreshika: Tainted Postlines

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Review – Kya: Dark Lineage

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Kya: Dark Lineage
Developed by Eden Studios
Published by Atari
Released 11.18.03

Fear my banana horn.

Kya: Dark Lineage is usually compared to Beyond Good and Evil, most likely because they are both action platformers with female leads. The similarities just about end there, since BGE is damn close to the epitome of the genre, while Kya is more a stock, run of the mill, average game. Of course I played to the end so there had to have been something there that made me play it.

The game starts off with you and your brother getting sucked into an alternate dimension via your father’s basement laboratory. You arrive among a few anthropomorphized dog like creatures who are all running away from some anthropomorphized wolf like creatures. This opening sequence introduces most aspects of the game, as it includes fighting, running, jumping, problem solving, and sneaking. Once you arrive back at the village, you meet with the elder who informs you that Brazul (cookie cutter bad guy) is turning all of the dogs (Nativs) into wolves (Wolfen). →  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a gamer against their game.

Review – ChoroQ

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ChoroQ
Developed by Atlus
Published by Takara
Released 11.14.04

 

Win this race to unlock secret driver Lindsey Lohan.

ChoroQ caught my attention because it claimed to be a racing RPG, a genre I didn’t know existed, much less one I had any experience with. I figured, even if all I got out of the ten bucks it cost was another obscure game for the collection and a few minutes of distraction, it would be a worthwhile purchase. Disclosure: my experience with pure racing games is limited to a ton of time spent with Gran Turismo 3 and a de minimus amount of time spent on a few other, minor titles (not counting the Mario Karts of course). Gran Turismo 3 was a great game, and this was apparent to a novice in the genre such as myself, because of the depth of the gameplay, and the level of customization. The realism probably figured in somewhere, but since I don’t know (or care) about car racing I’m not sure that was even apparent to me. →  WELCOMETOTHENEXTARTICLE

Review – Mortal Kombat: Deception

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Mortal Kombat: Deception
Developed by Midway
Published by Midway
Released 10.04.04

I got a small role in a Broadway play, it’s not much, but it’s a start.

I grade games on a 100 point scale broken down into several categories. Each category gives a maximum of 20 points. The combined total is score of the game.

A 100 = perfect.

Graphics: 15
Music: 15
Game play: 20
Plot: 15
Replay ability: 20
Total Value: 85%

Moooortaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal Koooooooooooooooombaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Test your might! Do do doooo dooo doooo!

Here is a cute story. When I was a young lad I was a Mortal Kombat master. I won a tournament at a local arcade out of 100 people for the best Mortal Kombat II player. I must have spent somewhere between $10,000.00 to $20,000.00 playing that dangfangled game. Anyway this review is about Mortal Kombat: Deception. It was released I believe in ’04, but it still reigns as the latest MK fighting game because the new Shaolin Monks is not a fighting game. →  Zero Escape: Nine Hours, Nine Authors, Nine Articles

Review – Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade

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Untold Legends: Brotherhood of the Blade
Developed by Sony Online Entertainment
Published by Sony Online Entertainment
Released 3.24.05

I grade games on a 100 point scale broken down into several categories. Each category gives a maximum of 20 points. The combined total is score of the game.

Take these six points of damage! And you take these seven!!!.

A 100 = perfect.

Graphics: 15
Music: 15
Game play: 13
Plot: 15
Replay ability: 10
Total Value: 63%

The first thing I thought upon getting this title was “whoa my first PSP game!” Approximately 2 hours after playing the game my impression was “What the hell is this game trying to be? Handheld Diablo 2?” And I still think it is.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Diablo 2. My Amazon was something to be feared; even Jay’s nancy Barbarian trembled in fear from her when we were hunting Diablo in the depths of hell. In any event, as I said this game was trying to be Diablo 2. →  Prince of Postia: Article Within

Review – Zelda: Wind Waker

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Zelda: Wind Waker
Developed by Nintendo
Published by Nintendo
Released 3.24.03

Mr. Link, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?

I grade games on a 100 point scale broken down into several categories. Each category gives a maximum of 20 points. The combined total is score of the game.

A 100 = perfect.

Graphics: 20

Music: 20

Game play: 20

Plot: 10

Replay ability: 10

Total Value: 80%

What can be said of The Wind Waker? Gorgeous! Smooth! Colorful! An auditory pleasure! No plot. As with most game of the Zelda franchise the story is rather dull if not redundant. Collect your power up items (Triforce parts and weapons) kill the bad guy, and make sweet sweet underage lovin’s to the princess.

The environments are a little underdetailed but extremely sharp and clean.

On the surface you’re probably saying, gee isn’t this basically just a remake of the 1 st Nintendo Zelda I fell in love with back in 1987? →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!

Review – Wario Ware, Inc.

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Wario Ware, Inc.
Developed by Nintendo and Intelligent Systems
Published by Nintendo
Released 10.17.03

Nintendo gets a bad rap (from normal people, not losers like me). They practically invented the platform game, brought video games back after the crash of the early 80’s, showed us how a 3D platformer should look, perfected the action RPG, pioneered handheld gaming and released a headset game system after even Sega pulled the plug on their Virtual (or should I say Virtua) Reality system (although not doing what Sega does is generally good business practice). Well add another accomplishment to Nintendo’s long list, because Wario Ware Inc is incredibly different.

The Daddy Mac will make you…

Most games made up of minigames are crappy, but if the games are good enough then the game as a whole can be excellent, like Pirates! (everything), Mr. Bones (Saturn) or Donald Duck (C64). Understanding this, Nintendo and Intelligent Designs had the genius idea to stuff 200 or so microgames into one cart. →  Read Theft Auto 4

Review – Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones

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Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones
Developed by Intelligent Systems
Published by Nintendo
Released 5.23.05

As a kid fighting in the trenches during the Sega vs. Nintendo War, Shining Force was a potent weapon for the Sega legions. The only possible counter attack was mention Nintendo’s Fire Emblem, Japan’s first console strategy RPG. How I hated this series that I had never even seen. I took solace in knowing that only the most obsessed gamers knew of its existence; I did my best to block the name Fire Emblem from my mind.

Extra vowels make common names mysterious and fanciful.

Thank god that war is over. Having embraced all that video games have to offer, I can now play and love quality titles from all developers. Fire Emblem managed to come out with six entries before one was localized for the U.S. The particular one I’m reviewing now is number eight, Sacred Stones, but from what I have read little changes from game to game. →  They’re reading her… and then they’re going to read me!

Review – Shadow of the Colossus

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Shadow of the Colossus
Developed by SCEA
Published by SCEA
Released 10.15.05

Apparently all reviewers of Shadow of the Colossus must first reveal their Ico credentials. Ico was released in September of 2001, and I had my eye on it from early in its life cycle. For one reason or another I only ended up purchasing the game about a year and a half later. Since then, the more I’ve played the further it has climbed up my list of favorite games. I enjoyed the graphical style, puzzle elements, storyline, I even like the fact that the fighting was terrible, because it made the whole experience of being a young boy lost in a dangerous castle more believable. I felt the same way about the lack of menus and on-screen interface. I fully bought into the idea that the game was art, and the most heartfelt story ever told on the medium. Needless to say, I was excited by the prospect of Shadow of the Colossus. →  Lamers so loved the world that they gave their only article, so that everyone who believes in reading won’t perish but will have eternal lives.