Reviews

Review – Transformers

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Take any sample of young twenty-something men, regardless of their profession or personality, and tell them to talk about Transformers. I guarantee you that no matter who they are, they’ll all have something to say. I’m sure there were kids who thought the Turtles were stupid, or that GI Joe was lame. But giant talking robots who turned into cars and jet planes? Its practically illegal for a young boy to scoff at that.

Thus it seems impossible for the Transformers PS2 game to be any good. It isn’t just based on a legendary license; the story and characters are based off of the recent Transformers: Armada anime. If history is any indicator, then this game should be less playable than the latest Pixar/Dreamworks movie tie-in. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

Eve Online : First Impressions

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It’s hard to write “first” impressions of a game that’s four years old, but nonetheless, this is where I find myself. Burnt out by World of Warcraft, ranting and raving about my addiction on this site, and swearing off MMO’s for good is where we last left off.

Well, I’ve at least kept part of it up; I’ve resisted the Burning Crusade completely. But I find myself once again sucked into the MMO world, having started playing Eve Online.

Eve Online is very different from other online games I’ve played. For starters, it’s set in the future, in a space base universe. But rather than being first person, like almost every MMO, the game is entirely ship based. In fact, until an upcoming expansion (and keep in mind there have already been several expansions), you can’t ever actually “get out” of your ship. →  Imagine all the gamers playing for today

Review – Prey

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I first heard about Prey in 1998 when sci-fi shooter was announced by 3D Realms as being in production for release on the PC “in the near future.” Apparently the near future is almost ten years later, and the PC they were talking about is the XBox 360 (although it was released for the PC shortly after). Regardless of how much time it’s taken, this game was conceived ten years ago and it shows.

We heard you guys were looking for extras for the new Doom game. What the hell is Prey? Ah, why not.

The gameplay is perfectly straightforward. You run around the levels and shoot aliens, you take their weapons, and then you kill tougher aliens with those new, more powerful weapons. →  What can change the nature of a post?

Madden on Wii

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A while ago I had a bit of a rant about Madden football, where I said that no matter how much the game bugs me, I always end up playing each new version. It’s happened again, with a twist; my first experience with Madden ’07 was on the Wii.

I’m not sure how well this game went over with critics. Jay said something about the reception being poor, but I don’t really feel like looking it up. It’s fun to give impressions without knowing what others were thinking. In short, Madden Wii is a change, and if it really has been trashed, I think I know why.

I didn’t play enough to test the really deep aspects of controlling Madden, though it looks like it’s all there in some form or another, so guys looking for hot routes and audibles and line shifts should worry not. →  The fuck does Cuno care about reading?

Review – Sam and Max Episode 2 – Situation: Comedy

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Is episodic gaming on the ropes already? That seems to be what some people are saying. It’s kind of hard to believe this when the idea still hasn’t gotten off the ground, but these claims have some merit. Sin Episodes is in limbo, and everyone has come to agree that Valve is really making Half Life 2 expansion packs, regardless of what they want to call them. That leaves Telltale Games as the only major developer that has followed through with their promise of timely episodic content. First they did it with Bone, and now Sam and Max looks to be moving along right on schedule. The second episode, Situation: Comedy, was released just before Christmas, and I’ve finally gotten around to finishing it. →  Reading. Reading never changes.

Review – Onimusha Warlords

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Back where my folks live in Pennsylvania, local cable picks up Channel 63 of New Jersey. Despite being a local, American owned station, Channel 63 fills all of its time slots with shows and commercials from Japan and Korea. This, of course, means that at any given hour you can find all kinds of ridiculous Samurai drama.

These shows are always the same; the men are loud and gruff, the women soft and gentle. The costumes are cheap, flamboyant, or in the case in which a demon is present, both (this is most of the time). The plots are ridiculous, with characters running around in the most awkward and confused ways regardless of what is going on. And every episode of Samurai drama ends with coming attractions that are preceded by bold blocks of kanji with flames in the background. →  Welcome to read zone!

Trace Memory: Worth the Effort

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After reading some of the reviews for Cing’s DS adventure game, I was a little hesitant about picking it up. I love adventure games, but the puzzles were cited as being a pain in the ass. So, I did the next best thing. I put it on my GameFly Game Q.

Having finished it, I’ve to come to the realization that reviewers have no idea what makes a game good. This was a great adventure game, and I easily recommend trying it. It is very short (it only took me 5 hours to beat), but for the low price of $15 at GameStop, you make out on the deal.

I won’t divulge any of the story, only because that’s the main reason for playing adventure games, and I won’t be the bad guy and spoil it for you. →  Readout 3: Takedown

Review – Resident Evil Remake

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The Resident Evil Remake taught me a few important lessons, some about the series itself, and some about gaming in general. Let’s not waste any time and get right down to it.

First off, Resident Evil doesn’t actually suck. People love making fun of the pre-RE4 formula for Resident Evil games. They’ll complain about the cheesy zombies, the tank-like controls, and the obtuse puzzles. And yet none of these things could keep me from enjoying the REmake. I enjoyed having a good brainteaser to solve. I enjoyed blasting away at zombies with a well placed shotgun shell fired in a fairly realistic manner. I like the slow, plodding pace of the game, where survival is the only thing that needs to be on your mind, not time or points or action. →  Guitar Hero III: Legends of Read

Review – Trauma Center: Second Opinion

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After their small splash in the DS world with last year’s Under the Knife, Atlus has rolled out the operating table once again with Wii’s Trauma Center: Second Opinion. Atlus showed us a great way to use the touch-screened handheld with Under the Knife, but have they done the same for the Wii and its innovative wii-mote? Even without a medical license, I can easily prescribe Second Opinion.

If you’ve ever played the board game Operation, then you have a small inkling of what to expect from Trauma Center. You play as Derek Stiles, a rookie doctor that has just finished his residency at Hope Hospital, in fictitious Angeles Bay. At the beginning of the game, Derek acts a little lazy when dealing with the other doctors. →  Words are the towns and cities of letters.

Review – Advent Rising

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This is one of those times I’m sorry I listened to the reviews on a game and passed it up. I had been following Advent Rising mostly because its story was written by Orson Scott Card (author of the Ender’s Game series) and it was originally supposed to be an epic, three-part sci-fi adventure. From the screenshots and scraps of gameplay videos I saw, it looked quite promising.

However, upon its release Advent Rising got anywhere from mediocre to downright insulting reviews. Most complained of crippling bugs and game engine problems, making the game virtually unplayable. Others said the story was boring and then made worse by bad voice acting talent. I have no idea what game these people were playing. →  Tony Hawk’s Posting Ground