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Xbox 360 demo roundup!

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I have no idea if this will be a regular thing. Depends on how many demos come out on a weekly basis. In any case, enjoy this roundup of recent demos.

SKATE – Jay tells me I’m not allowed to like this one because its name is SKATE. Also it is by EA. I don’t really give a damn. If you want to bury Tony Hawk into the ground, this is the way to do it. SKATE opts for a more realistic skating experience, without being too realistic. One joystick manages your body, the other the skatebaord itself. Most moves involve simple flicks of the joystick in various directions, in some facsimile of the motions for performing that trick on a real board. →  All happy games are alike; each unhappy game is unhappy in its own way.

Dreamcast Mania! – Canceled games: Came out on other consoles

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Finally, the much requested follow up to the canceled Dreamcast games deal I wrote a few weeks ago. For those who missed the first, I am taking a look at games that were slated to be released for Sega’s last system that got the axe for one reason or another (well, probably for the very specific reason that the console was discontinued). Special thanks to Christian for handling a few of these. Even I get tired of making stuff up about games I’ve never heard of.

Super Monkey Ball
What was it?
The first game in the best monkey based Marble Madness clone series.

Would it have been good?
The game didn’t rely on great graphics and the Cube version was indeed fun. →  Theme Postital

60…45 Reasons to own a PSP

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PSP Fanboy started a series of articles back in June extolling the wonders of the PSP. The 60 Reasons to Own a PSP series was written (by a reader of the blog) to illuminate how amazing the PSP system is. And amazing it is, with reasons such as “Has buttons” and “Runs on electricity” on the list, there is no denying the PSP is the best system ever

Realizing any reasons beyond “has good games”, “costs less than the PS3” and possibly “not fatal if ingested” were unnecessary, videolamer wrote a parody of the article that simply looked at a bunch of DS games and labeled each game a reason to own the DS. We sent PSP Fanboy the article but have yet to hear back from them. →  Devil Summoner: Readou Kuzunoha vs. the Soulless Article

GT5: Prologue adds car damage, finally becomes a real driving simulator

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Reported by Kotaku, Gran Turismo’s father, Kazunori Yamauchi, has stated that a few key features are being implemented into the teaser version of Gran Turismo 5, dubbed Prologue. Things like realistic car damage and a “Professional” physics option are getting added as per fan request, and all I can say is: holy shit, took you long enough!

The Gran Turismo series has always been labeled as the most realistic driving simulator ever created, but that doesn’t say much when you can ram your Sprinter Trueno into a wall head-on at 120 mph and see no damage.

Apparently Polyphony Digital has realized that cars, in fact, do not bounce off of walls, and has added damage to their physics model, much like what Forza Motorsport did on Msoft’s Xbox 360. →  In all ages, hypocrites, called producers, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called publishers.

ASCII art game – Shoot ‘Em

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When it comes to Youtube vids made of ASCII art, quality can hit or miss. But this is the first time I’ve seen it used to make a 3d game. The name is Shoot ’em , and the concept is simple – use your ASCII gun and ASCII mines to blow up ASCII shapes so they don’t crash into your ASCII ship. old schooley techno plays in the background. Also, you can run out of ammo. It is 3d and mouse driven, and while not the most thrilling game ever, it is a sight to behold.

In case you are wondering how the game works – it looks to use a custom image conversion layer in OpenGL (thanks to Tringi for pointing this out to me!), →  Read awhile, and listen.

Metal Gear Silly 4

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I should begin this blog with a disclaimer – I have played all of the Metal Gear Solid games, and sooner or later I know I will play 4. With that out of the way, I want to say that the hype for MGS4 can get puzzling at best.

Now I’m not saying that the game deserves no hype. Anything MGS is guaranteed to get people talking, and for good reason. It just seems weird. Unless I wasn’t paying attention, it felt like MGS3 had the least amount of hype and talk before its release, and yet it for my money its the best game in the series. Now with MGS4 we get a new trailer ever few months, and from just this we’ve got floods of comments where people are already claiming it to be the best game of this generation. →  Ask not for whom the game plays, it plays for thee.

The Bioshock Occlusion

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HateComputer

My PC is stout. A 3.2ghz Quad core, 8gb RAM, GeForce 7950 SLI (x2) beast with a raptor managing triple boot, 2tb of SATA storage and a 1000 watt PSU to keep the cheesy blue cathodes and 8 case fans humming wildly in PC mod rapture. I can run any game at any resolution (yes, even with the months old 7950s) at hundreds of FPS. It makes little girls cry, old men shit themselves and, if the moon is just right, can grab hold of the minds of all within a forty block radius and twist them to my devious desires.

So I guess it only makes sense then that I bought Bioshock for the 360.

I was given a choice, you see. →  A delayed article is eventually good, a rushed article is all we post.

Bioshock and Awe

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First of all, let me say that I hope that everyone who can play Bioshock is trying their best to do so. This is a big, important game that we need to discuss campfire style.

Second, I want to tell everyone to please, please, slow the hell down.

Thanks to Bioshock’s art deco style, mesmerizing visuals, and Randian plot and philosophy, there are already people declaring this an instant work of art. By the end of the year you will no longer hear chants of “Ico! Beyond Good and Evil! Shadow of the Colossus!”. Instead the only weapon many gamers will wield will be Bioshock.

ReggieHatesYou

Again, I say to this – slow down. Wait until everyone has played it. →  I’ll read you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!

What are we Playing?

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I don’t know what you dear readers are playing, but I’ve got myself a tough choice, as demonstrated on the right:

Don’t pity me. I’ll somehow play them while still squeezing in Prime 3 this month.

I promise reviews as quickly as possible. At least for Bioshock.

Square Enix and the Merch

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Man Square Enix, you just live to piss me off, don’t you? Apparently you’ve opened your merchandise store to the west, and rather than being a force of awesome, you’ve filled it with lousy merchandise and worthless jewelry so teenage otaku have something to go with their black nail polish.

Let’s look at the subcategories on the side navigation bar. We’ve got specific links for every Final Fantasy from 7 to 12…. oh wait. FF9 isn’t there. Sorry Zidane; guess you weren’t emo enough pal. The rest of the FF’s, as well as all of Dragon Quest are each lumped into a big series category. Just great.

I guess we can still look at what they have. Hmm. Seems the other FF’s have nothing to offer me but figurines of summons. →  Videolamer does what IGNotDoes.