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SDF-1: Sony Defense Force was obviously a joke

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Let’s talk about Sony Defense Force. The site has been a constant source of humor for myself and other Lamer staff for a few weeks now. Apparently the site PS3Tag did some “detective work” that amounted to looking at the properties of a “whois”, and now the site has been “found”. Kotaku commenters are chiming in about how they “thought it was a hoax” or “they should lose readership because of this”, as well as complimenting for the work PS3tag did.

I am going to borrow a line from my god Ken Levine, and ask you all to kill yourselves.

I can understand if you were uncertain about the meaning of SDF when it originally launched. I can barely accept your puzzled looks when they launched a forum that had almost no PS3 discussion whatsoever, and even talked about the 360 with excitement. →  They’re reading her… and then they’re going to read me!

Xbox Live Demo Roundup 2

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Another week, another batch of new and slightly stale demos to read about….

    Tony Hawk’s Proving Ground

– It probably isn’t coincidence that this one lands the week that SKATE comes out. It looks like in typical fashion, gamers are drawing the line in the sand before releases even occur. The SKATE demo was so good that people are getting hours of entertainment from it, which bodes quite well for the full retail product. Because of this, some already declare Tony dead. THPS loyalists say they are unimpressed by SKATE’s controls and are more comfortable with their failsafe. Personally, I think anyone who doesn’t like the SKATE approach is either simply bad at it, or can’t really appreciate the essence of the sport as much as they can million point combos. →  Phoenix Write: Just Posts for All

EA Tiburon shows us why Madden sucks

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Apparently EA Tiburon, the house in charge of Madden, has a history of pulling pranks on each other. As funny as some of the stories are, we as gamers should be a little disappointed in this kind of shit. On one hand, its hard to say that spending thousands to fill a room with plastic balls is a waste when you’re EA and you make Madden (actually its still a waste). But this is the same company that wants to flood your favorite games with in game ads and reap the profits, rather than using ad revenue to cut us players a break. I’m glad to know that this is what they’re using their money on rather than coke and hookers whenever they ream you for the newest lazy Battlefield expansion. →  Zone of the Readers: The 2nd Reader

Xbox Live Brings it On

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While everyone has been hoping and waiting for an announcement regarding Sin and Punishment on the Virtual Console, Microsoft has gone ahead and demanded you give them money. Xbox Live Arcade is going to get not only Ikaruga, but an updated, HD ready version of Rez.

That’s right. Two of the darlings of the gaming underground are getting another chance, and for reasonable prices! The only way not to be excited about this announcement is if your a smarmy collector who realizes their first print copies of these games are going to be worth a lot less.

Small price to pay to get a new version Rez for modern televisions. And I haven’t even played the damn game yet!

Many links for the news, so I’ll send you to everyone’s favorite videolamer troll to spill the beans.

PSP Lite/Slim/2000 Impressions

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To be hardcore in the video game scene, one must make a painful sacrifice. I’m sorry to tell you this, but you just can’t buy one system and call it a day. No, you must do what is necessary: you must buy every single piece of hardware that has ever been made. Yes, even a Nuon. So, with that in mind, I begged my girlfriend to buy me the new streamlined PSP. What? I didn’t say you couldn’t ruin someone else’s life in your pursuit of hardcore-ness. And guess what? The damn fool agreed to it! Can you believe that shit? Oh mercy.

So with that quick anecdote, here are my quick impressions on the new Ice Silver Sony PSP (the unit bundled with Daxter), officially referred to as the PSP 2000. →  Game is dead. Game remains dead. And we have killed it.

Guitar’d Hero – Downloadable song packs sell like lightning

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Guitar Hero 2 on the 360 is making Activision loads of cash monies thanks to its downloadable content.

This is interesting on several levels. For one, I find it curious that people are gobbling up these song packs when all but one of them feature tracks from Guitar Hero 1. If you haven’t played GH1, then the packs are a no-brainer, but I personally will never play Smoke on the Water again after five staring it (great song to hear, boring as fuck to play through to the end).

Of course the news is outraging the Kids of the Internet (uh-woo-oh), who are quick to call us “Sheep” for buying these packs at a high price point. Aside from the fact that I haven’t actually bought them myself, I’m still cringing at this nerd rage. →  Europa Universalis IV: Articles of War

Sony sends IGN a Reviewing Guide for Lair, IGN realizes the folly of its ways

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Wow, how arrogant can someone be? Completely ignoring the fact that every single review for Factor 5’s monumental disaster says the same exact thing (god-awful motion controls with the SIXAXIS), Sony has issued a Lair Reviewer’s Guide for IGN, stating, in cold-hard PR-speak, that they are not playing the game properly, and that they need to open their minds and “hands for something very different!”.

Now, I could understand if Nintendo was the one doing this, as there have been many times where a Wii game would get the lowest scores possible on one site, while it had higher than average scores on another, depending on if the reviewer understood how to use the game’s motion controls. That I could understand. →  Contains 10% more consonants than comparable articles.

The Hardware Honeymoon Is Over, Bring On The Games!

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I just took a quick peek at the Japanese console sales charts and I think it is safe to say that the newness is starting to fade from this generation of consoles. This is by no means a doom and gloom statement, it just means that now some game developers need to step up to the plate and convince people to buy into all of the new hardware floating around.

Microsoft will again be the loser in the Japanese console market. The Xbox 360 just does not have titles that Japanese people are interested in. Halo 3 will most definitely boost sales in the United States and Europe but not many Japanese gamers play Halo. I am positive I will be able to walk into any store here on the day Halo 3 is released and walk out with a copy of the game if I so desired. →  All you need is read.

Time Bomb

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Time Magazine on the third of the Halos. As popular as the games are, I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in the manistream press splooge quite like this over them. Actually, let’s slow down there – this may actually be a good thing. For once, a game other than Mario is on the cover a major magazine, Time magazine of them all. That’s a pretty good step for our hobby. Yes, the author gets very deep and melodramatic about the game’s Gregorian Chants and phrases such as The Pillar or Autumn, things that I find more pretentious than actually tasteful. But again – its better than calling us a bunch of kids right?

No. This is not a good thing, in fact I think this hurts gamers. →  Illiterates hate her! Click to read this one weird trick.

The REAL reason Rockstar wanted an AO rating for Manhunt 2

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Ever since Manhunt 2 received an abominable AO rating, therefore banning it in every country except the Netherlands (those lucky bastards), I’ve been wondering what would compel Rockstar and, to a much greater extent, TakeTwo to greenlight this kind of game.

They must have seen the signs that it would probably get more than a Mature rating. I’m sure some of the details are debatable, but once you get into the realm of debate, you’re asking for trouble.

But then I realized something. I know why Rockstar made Manhunt 2 so gory. It’s because Suda 51, the man behind the upcoming adult Wii game, No More Heroes, championed the fact that his game will be more violent than Manhunt 2. I’m sure the moment Rockstar heard that, they went straight back to the drawing board and added as much gruesome content as their troubled psyches could muster. →  [link only works on even seconds]