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Some Favorite, Disappointing, and Interesting Games from 2012-2016 part 3

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In this final part (part 1 here, part 2 here) of this series looking back at the years videolamer spent wrongfully imprisoned over a trumped up jaywalking charge, I look back at the many games that left an impression on me. Just not enough of an impression to have more than a few paragraphs to say about them.

Virtue’s Last Reward

Virtue’s Last Reward disappointed me on multiple fronts. The tone of the game is different from its predecessor 999’s because, according to an interview, the overt horror theme hampered sales in Japan. And so VLR tones it down. This is a big blow to the game; 999’s plot is stupid bullshit, yet it managed to be compelling because of the palpable tension. People could and did die in the game, including your character on most paths, and that made the game thrilling despite the paranormal pseudoscientific plotline and anime tropes. By stripping the horror and thus the tension from the game, Virtue’s Last Reward is just a mess of dumb plot contrivances, convoluted twists, and characters in questionable clothing. →  I am become game, destroyer of words.

Final Thoughts on Final Fantasy VIII

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In Part 3 of this 3 Part series about Final Fantasy VIII (that I never intended to be a 3 Part series about Final Fantasy VIII – Part 1 here and Part 2 here), I want to go into a bit more detail about my personal history with this game. I fully admit that this is more for me than anyone else, a sort of final bit of therapy to help me put it in the past and move on.

Final Fantasy VIII is a game I first played at launch back in 1999. I didn’t get very far.

I tried playing it again a few years later. This time I was serious about beating it. But I didn’t.

I tried again a few years after that. And again a few years after that.

I tried it twice more after rebuying it on PSP.

Then I stopped for many, many years, until they remastered it for modern consoles, complete with “hacks” that allow you to do things like turn off random battles and play at 3x speed. →  You lost me.

Some Favorite, Disappointing, and Interesting Games from 2012-2016 part 2

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Continuing from Part 1, we look back at the many years videolamer was in a tragic, medically induced coma in an attempt to prevent rabies from spreading to the brain in this, Part 2 of Some of the Dumb Games we missed series.

Cunzy

The Starship Damrey

I fondly remember the Guild series of games on Nintendo 3DS as polished but fun little experiments but by far my favourite is The Starship Damrey. The 3DS had a few genuinely haunting horror games, my heart still can’t take Dementium: The Ward, but The Starship Damrey perfectly created a sense of unease, despite there not really being too much in the way of threat. Of course the game kicks off with you waking from cryo-sleep and of course you have amnesia and then for most of the rest of the game you explore the titular Starship via a remote operated vehicle. Pulling together the threads of what happened on the ship via some point-n-click puzzles is compelling and there are a few bumps in the night on the way. →  Sounds mildly entertaining, I guess.

White Flag of Freedom – Why not give up on a game?

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There is something almost therapeutic about finishing a game. Another accomplishment, another disc to put back on the shelf (metaphorically if you are not obsessed with collecting slowly decaying physical media), and the freedom to move on to another game without the slightest twinge of guilt, regret, or sense of failure.

Completing games has been enshrined in the culture by sites like Backloggery and How Long to Beat. I have a 6 year old spreadsheet I use to track what I finish and know other people who do the same. Gaming forums have threads on backlogs frequently; many of us feel the weight of our unfinished games.

Why do we want to finish games, and should we? You’re right, those are good questions. Let’s dive into the why first. I have heard our drive to complete games described as internalized capitalism, oddly enough from self-professed once-libertarian Heather Anne Campbell (shout out to my Elysium comrade Nick Weiger). I am a sucker for any explanation that blames capitalism for a problem (guess why this website isn’t bigger than Google) but I am not entirely won over this time. →  You do not simply walk into reading more.

Who was brave enough to pioneer unique console names?

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The first video game console was the Magnavox Odyssey. The follow up to that system was a series of consoles that appended a number after the word Odyssey. This was just good business sense. Why confuse customers by changing the name of your product? Atari saw the wisdom in maintaining a name and followed the 2600 with the 5200, publicly declaring it twice as good. There are other generational products beyond consoles but my mind jumps to the automobile as a template for how to treat new models. It would be bizarre to rebrand the Honda Accord next year with a new name (the Honda Discord, obviously) and then continue to do so with each significant rehaul. It would just be bad business.

Unique console names ended when giant corporations Sony and Microsoft moved into the video game space, but where did they start? As with most things, I believe we have Sega to thank. [In full disclosure, I began working on this post when I was struck by non-branded curiosity – I actually didn’t know where unique major console names came from. →  Hell is other gamers.

Final Fantasy VIII is a Weird Game

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There are countless examples of games that were trashed at release, only to have their reputations rehabilitated years later upon being (re)discovered by retro game enthusiasts. Usually this is because the game in question was misunderstood or otherwise ahead of its time, both revelations which are only revealed with the hindsight and context provided by the future.

On the flip side, there are games that were beloved at release, only to be trashed years later as retro gamers discover that it didn’t age well, or that launch-day opinions were misinformed, or whatever the case may be.

But there’s a third option as well, one in which the initial impression of Game X was accurate, and remains accurate once it hits retro status. In my (admittedly limited) experience, this is the rarest take of all. This is probably due to the simple fact that tastes and opinions change as we age, though it isn’t uncommon for people to change their minds for other reasons (for example, to better align with the opinions of their peers, or to adopt a contrarian opinion for the sake of attention). →  For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a gamer against their game.

Away Games: Recommendations for Places That May No Longer Exist

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In the long years without videolamer updates, I passed time staring at walls, counting the seconds until death would release me from my meaningless existence, and watching TV. I also did a little bit of traveling. Whenever possible, I coerced, tricked, or bamboozled my girlfriend/fiance/wife/ex-wife into doing something at least video game adjacent on these trips. And so I present you with my research and recommendations for places to visit that were likely closed years ago due to the pernicious whims of capitalism. With pictures!

Galloping Ghost Arcade: Illinois

A family vacation to South Bend put me within (multiple hour) striking distance of this arcade I had read good things about. Knowing fellow videolamer contributor and all-round site admin Chris was from this region of Earth, I asked if he would like to meet and play some games. I think he drove for 4 hours to reach the Galloping Ghost, so hopefully I paid for breakfast. Depending on when you read your internet, this arcade has the most or close to the most game cabinets in North America, including a few prototypes that are either unique or exceptionally rare. →  Drakenread 2

Nintendo Switch Successor Hardware Power Rumors

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Many gamers were sad to see the recently released Switch OLED was not a hardware update that came with a spec boost. Those gamers should take solace, though, as rumors from Japan suggest the Switch follow up will be something of a beast. It will reportedly be so powerful it will run the eShop smoothly and rarely even fail to load while browsing the deals section of the store.

Seamless.

An anonymous source from Kyoto says, “The original Switch model had trouble loading the eShop due to an internal decision to focus resources on the second, highly complex “black” theme that came built-in on all consoles.” Sources also say shopping technology that would enable users to add games to a cart without losing their current place on the storefront is unlikely to be possible on a portable device.

These more technologically advanced issues will need to wait until the next generation of Nintendo systems. The new Switch, rumored to be known as the New Switch, is expected to be available bundled with launch title Metroid Prime 3 no sooner than November, 2028.

Triangle Strategy Demo Thoughts Likely to be Invalidated by the Full Release

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Triangle Strategy employs a design technique I named “branching linearity” when I was pretending I was a game designer in the halcyon days of college. Instead of many choices with usually subtle or no effects on game flow, this design focuses on fewer but more dramatic choices that can significantly and (hopefully) irrevocably change the path the player takes.

It is true that Triangle Strategy also tries to weave subtler effects into its design, asking you to choose between the three virtues of thriftiness, relaxation, and stick-to-it-ivness, but the larger choices put you on distinct tracks; for example, early on in the game (and playable in the demo), you choose to visit country A or B. You cannot then go visit the other country – your choice is binary and it affects the plot and characters you may recruit. Branching linearity has an added benefit – mediocre stories become significantly more engaging. 

Triangle Strategy seems inspired by A Song of Ice and Fire (that’s right, I have read a book) but fails to reach even Matsuno levels of quality. →  Four out of five dentists recommend reading more.

Early to the End of the Party – videolamer NFTs

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To celebrate the return of videolamer we will be offering site relevant NFTs to our diehard readers and general fans. Images such as our logo, logo with inverted colors, old logo, and the old “lamer” character made in 2 minutes using MS Paint will be available on a first come first served basis.

Because I don’t understand NFTs, I will be emailing the relevant gif or jpg to the address you provide for the price of $1,000 per file. I ask our readers to not save any of our proprietary, definitely copyrighted images in the meantime. We have a large team of high powered lawyers standing beside our GoDaddy server listening closely to the site for right clicks.

All of us at videolamer are excited to pull up our sleeves, strike while the iron is hot, and get in on the ground floor of what will inevitably prove to be the new foundation of the video game industry, the NFT. We believe what we have to offer can act as the cornerstones of that foundation and are proud to have this opportunity to sell these landmarks to you. →  2 h4rdc0r3 4 U.