Random Crap

Stuff that doesn’t fit into one of the other categories goes here.

Wii: The Lazy Gamer’s Console

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The Wii is like the full spectrum of gaming. You can play like a non-true-gamer and make minimal movements. You can also play quirky little games like the upcoming Cooking Momma: Cook Off, as well as the big hitters, like the Legend of Zelda. Whatever you want, Wii’s got it. It’s like the Wal-Mart of gaming. Just less evil.

One thing that is also really cool, even though it’s just a side-effect of Nintendo’s ultimate aim of getting non-gamers into the gaming fold, is the fact that you can hold the controller in a really comfortable position. Because the two essential pieces of the controller are separate and tethered with a fairly long wire, you get to move your arms farther away from each other than you would with traditional controllers.

When I play through Zelda, and I’ve defeated all the enemies in a certain room, my hands slowly fall to my sides. →  You fool. Don’t you understand? No one wishes to read on…

Fear the Mystic Balloons

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I find most freeware games to be temporary distractions, but every once in a while I get hooked on one longer than usual. Such is the case with Mystic Balloon. Originally a cooperation between two Japanese developers, this puzzle game was translated a few days ago by Derrick Sobodash.

Mystic Balloon’s plot is simple, as are both music and graphics. But the puzzles are rightfully the heart of the game, and there are a lot of them.

Our forecast for tomorrow is mostly cloudy with a chance of ice and springs.

In this puzzle game, you make your way through individual 2-dimensional puzzle map-areas – similar to Lolo – but in Mystic Ballon, gravity has an effect and there aren’t enemies – the game is pure puzzle, and controls are tight so mistakes are the player’s fault.

Objects found in the game range from springs and blocks to clouds, ladders, keys, ice… and I’ve just touched the surface. The only movements available to the player are jumping and picking up objects, but the objects offer the diversity necessary to keep puzzles interesting and varied. →  The Last Readment

Untranslated Games on Gametap

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So I was cruising through Gametap the other day, looking for new additions I might have missed out on. During this time I came across an interesting little game called Battle Golfer Yui. What makes it surprising is that the game was never released in America, but instead was a Japanese only release on the Sega Mega Drive. I’m not sure how or why Gametap included it, but they do acknowledge that its quite impossible to play through all the modes without understanding Japanese, and even tell you how to navigate to the quick play mode.

Anime Babes and Golf.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that it isn’t alone. There’s also at least one Wonder Boy release from Japan as well, and this time they warn that it might not even be possible to play without knowing Kanji.

So what does this mean for us gamers? A lot and a little. While its not easy or even possible for most gamers to play through these titles, its a good sign that a big service like Gametap isn’t afraid to shoot for something so obscure. →  I can has post?

Thinking about my Wii

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When will WiiDS (pronounced “weeds”) games come out? I am looking forward to making my girlfriend hold the DS, which I can assume will display only a map for about every game with connectivity, while I play Wii games. She has tried to explain maps to me before and it never works out because we both have terrible senses of direction and tempers. Threatening to kick her out of the car will probably be less effective when sitting in the living room playing video games so I’ll have to come up with a new threat for getting me lost. Not knowing where I am while driving costs a few minutes, but in a game can cost me my life.

Here is a good idea for a game. Take notes, Nintendo. The player with the DS frantically draws monsters (or stick figures, depending on their artistic ability) and quickly assigns them basic AI, while the Wii player fights those same created monsters with his remote controlled sword/gun/2×4. →  Sid Meier’s Alpha Centarticle

Faxanadu and Crystalis

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I’d like to bring a couple of old games to your attention. To me, these games pioneered the Action/RPG genre, which sadly has not received the attention it deserves.

First on the list is Faxanadu. An offshoot of the Dragon Slayer series in Japan (of which we received Faxanadu and Legacy of the Wizard), Faxanadu has much in the way of fantasy stereotypes: your character is an elf, and your mission is to make your way to the World Tree and track down those crazy dwarves who keep shutting off the elves’ water supply (thereby bringing about the deterioration of the world, etc, etc).

Although the plot is there, it is not particularly interesting. The important part is that you keep exploring, crossing vast expanses of diverse terrain, and you fight whatever gets in your way with magic, swords, and items. As an early Action RPG, there isn’t any particular way to make your character better at magic or melee combat; you just use whatever amount of each you see fit. →  While there is a lower class, I am in it, while there is a criminal element, I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not gaming.

Wii give thanks

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This Thanksgiving, I decided to put Nintendo’s new business strategy to the test by bringing home my Wii. Would it appeal to non-gamers and to past gamers? And just how shallow was Wii Sports? For scientific purposes, I spent time with both my girlfriend’s family and my own. Luckily, I wouldn’t have to perform these tests on an empty stomach, though the tryptophan didn’t necessarily help. (Tryptophan reference for comedic purposes only. In turkey, the chemical is contained in small amounts and the wrong form to actually produce drowsiness.)

My girlfriend’s parents were basically uninterested in the Wii. I played first, showing them how it was done and her mom tried once, but that was all. She needed help mastering the few buttons required to play. A friend spending the holiday with us refused to touch the remote. This was not the response I’d hoped for but it wasn’t completely unexpected. Nintendo had completely failed (or maybe I was just a shitty salesman) in that house, but how did the Wii do with my family? →  Europa Universalis IV: Articles of War

Where has the hype gone?

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Here in England, we always get things late. Sometimes very late, but that’s usually just Sony (I still stand by my claim that the PS3 won’t be out here until November). Something that England and the rest of Europe usually have, though, is an abundance of hype, hype, and more hype. Strangely enough, we all of a sudden have a lack of hype, and since the Wii has been released in America it seems to have disappeared off of the face of the planet over here. It’s released here in less than a month, so where has it all gone?

Maybe Nintendo have suddenly discovered that it won’t appeal to us Limeys. They’ve seen that the majority of the reviews by fat balding Americans of Red Steel be a tad negative, and they must be assuming the same for the English. Strange that, when the only other positive reviews have been from Europe. I will admit, lots of Japanese ideas tend to flop in Europe, but this is one idea even us English don’t want to miss out on. →  Sega Ages 2500 Series Vol. 5: Golden Post

Like, totally super cool shopping recommendations

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It’s becoming somewhat of a rarity to find a video game store that actually knows what they’re doing. Most of the time, you go into a store and get hounded to death by a caveman who just got hired off the streets. And no, they’re not even the cool Geico cavemen, either. Other times, a store has a complete lack of selection, believing Madden is the only game ever made, and proudly advertising their ignorance.

With two new consoles being released this year, videolamer is here to survey the battle field by detailing many stores that sell video games. We’ll break them up into categories of stores, and work from there.

Specialty Retailers
These are your EB Games, GameStop’s, GameCrazy’s, and what have you. These stores are the absolute best for selection. They always have what’s new, be it obscure RPG’s or the latest GTA-spinoff. They also have a wide selection of used games, nearly tripling the amount of games for the consumer. →  All you need is read.

Numbers are fun!

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In the course of doing my job, I managed to stumble across some information about the stocks of video game companies. Turns out a Bloomberg terminal is a worthwhile investment (when I am not paying for it) after all. Basically, I am now able to put numbers (which will not be precise, since there may be some intellectual property rights at issue) next to musings such as “It seems the DS is selling a lot of unit,” or “What happened to the PSP, are there any games?” Please beware the frequent use of parenthetical statements (such as this one: DS = original DS + DS Lite).

Something that needs to be understood about the way traditional financial statistics apply to the video game industry (and entertainment media generally) is that there is a “round peg, square hole” problem. Most statistics (total sales for example) are calculated on a Year over Year basis. If Nintendo sold 100 games in October 2005 and 110 games last month that represents 10% growth in YoY sales. →  You’re tearing me apart lamers!

Off to a shaky start

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This is a little video of my Wii not working right. Any time I try to go to the Wii store to buy Zelda, it eventually locks up on me. The home button still works and the remote movement is still registered, but clicking on buttons ceases to do anything. Comcast has been dropping frequently today so it may be that the Wii doesn’t react well to momentarily losing its connection to the internet. Or it could be that my Wii is broken.

Here’s a pic of it doing this on a different screen. The field with the cursor, actually, all fields refuse to let me enter them.

 →  Hey, hey, hey, it’s time to make some crazy reading!