N00b Diaries: Bioshock Chapter Three – The Wide Road to Hell

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Day Eight:

By this point, I thought the game had etched the peripheral line past which other games fear to tread; etched that line and stepped boldly over it. Then I got to the theater level, and found that Bioshock had actually power-vaulted over said line. About the time that I hear Sander Cohen’s reading of “The Wild Bunny” while transfixed by the mask on the wall perched in front of the statued man, I really understood that all bets were off.

But this isn’t profanity for the sake of mere shock value, or the macabre as seen by the sane. This is gorgeous and unmitigated insanity! For example: I had to stop in the flooded men’s room for the purpose of admiring the shadow play of the three arranged figures. I was not at all ashamed to say that it didn’t matter when Don intoned “You know those are real people, right?” I was impressed by the distinctness of the inverse shadows on the back and front wall, how one perspective showed the three characters dancing separately and the other combined them into something like a mythical three-headed creature. →  It was the best of games, it was the worst of games

N00b Diaries: Bioshock Chapter Two – Splicers Beware

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Day Four:

I have ammo. Lots of ammo. I am having a great time finding all the little crawl spaces, hacking every safe I can find and robbing every corpse rotting up my path. I already have the three photographs of the Spidey Splicers, have had them for quite some time. Got a really cool action shot of one, on a hunch; just turned a corner and clicked. Yeah, I’m a regular Mama Weegee over here. But despite the urgings of my rather vocal spectator to “follow the damn arrow, that’s what it’s there for”, I decide to go on a treasure hunt and take in the scenery.

I am still dumbfounded by the simultaneous beauty and sheer creepiness of this world. I have to pause to look at the ceiling of the bathroom and stop by the windows every once in a while to gaze through the aquatic distortion at the city scape beyond. I hear a Big Daddy coming and I crouch in a good hiding place. →  I regret learning to read.

N00b Diaries: Bioshock Chapter One – Getting Comfortable

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Day One:

Dear Diary,
I want to become a more knowledgeable video game player. I have expressed this, and have found that I have an excellent source of tutelage in my long-time gamer boyfriend. He has compiled a list of games that he considers the “must-play” list, and today I begin my journey, starting with: Bioshock!!! (Da-da-duuuum!!!) I begin by treading water for longer than I could possibly manage in real life. I spend as much time as possible taking in the flames, and then the desperately black horizon in every direction but one. I like it already. Entering the lonely lit monument, I try to grasp what the hell could possibly be going on and if the entire game is supposed to take place on this island.

Quick prologue: unlike 99.9% of the gaming populace, I have no idea what this game is about except for the word “Big Daddy”. In fact, I was instructed to play this game when I picked it out of my boyfriend’s collection one day and remarked upon the “cute little mining guy” on the cover. →  Lame is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

Review – Klonoa: Door to Phantomile

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Poor Klonoa. The plucky little dog/cat thing has appeared in two well regarded platformers and five spinoffs (two of them well regarded GBA platformers). Yet he has always dwelled in relative obscurity. With the release of the Wii remake of the original Klonoa: Door to Phantomile, nothing much has changed. Klonoa is still unable to light up the charts (and with a cover that looks like a budget release, I can understand why), and he is still able to make a damn fine platformer. Short, sweet, thoroughly gorgeous, they don’t make them like this anymore.

I say that because this is a very strict remake, helmed by many of the original team members. They decided to keep the core game intact, including the levels, story, and even the jibberish Phantomilian language. The benefits of modern gaming technology come only in the form of a complete aesthetic overhaul. The music has been redone (though perhaps not rearranged), as have the graphics. Klonoa uses the same visual style as many other good looking Wii games like Mario Galaxy and Zack and Wiki. →  SNK Article Classics Vol. 1

Thinking about identity in games

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As I sat staring at an enormous horde of Mongol marauders storming across the bridge, I felt a certain pride at the waiting ranks of Byzantine heavy infantry that stood on the other side. I’m not sure why, but I’ve always felt a certain affinity for those crazy Byzantines. Positioned at the crossroads of two continents, bordered by distinctly unfriendly Islamic and Catholic nations on either side, one of the greatest cities on earth as their capital. In both of the Medieval: Total War titles, the Byzantine Empire is one of the toughest factions to succeed with, surrounded by enemies and few potential allies, and that’s before the Golden Hordes turn up sometime along the way with their endless armies of terrifying heavy cavalry and horse archers. You can see why they struggled, despite their heritage and wealth.

Still, I’m a fan of theirs, and I do find myself playing Medieval II and trying to rebuild an empire that ended 500 years ago. →  Tony Hawk’s Pro Reader 3

Lamecast #11 – So they went and entered the house of a prostitute

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Doing the rounds at breakneck speed, our briefest Lamecast to date makes quick work of your sanity. Don covers the failings of multi-platform gaming, we collectively analyze why the guy behind the counter at Christian’s Gamestop needs to NOT share his feelings, Casey’s confounding lack of history with Dungeon Keeper, and would Alexis kindly step away from the pointless hacking.

Reggie asks who should make Nintendo games

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Your favorite band wants to know who you think should compose their next album. No, that’s too obvious, try this. Your favorite author wants to know who you think should write his next book.

Reggie has asked Kotaku readers who Nintendo should collaborate with next, implying the Metroid Team Ninja project won’t be the last time Nintendo brings in outside help. The problem with calling in third parties is apparently not obvious to everyone, as fans filled forums with names like Blizzard, Team Ico, Square, Treasure and so on.

Mario games aren’t great because of the Mushroom Kingdom and Zelda games aren’t great because of Hyrule. All the themes, plots, artwork and music may add to these series but they are not fundamentally what they are about. No, Mario and Zelda games are great because one of the best developers on the planet spends three years designing each new entry. Mario and Zelda games are great because the man in charge of Nintendo development studios values mechanic design above all else. →  You may say I’m a gamer, but I’m not the only one

THE YEAR… OF SEQUELS, Part 2!

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Ah, creativity. Useless, overrated creativity.

Once, back in the past, a man had an original idea and he took it and he made a form of mass media out of it and people loved it. They loved it so much that they decided he shouldn’t work on finding something new to give them, he should instead work on more of what they loved.

And thus we were given The Odyssey. And The Odyssey was just as successful and lucrative as the first. This opened the eyes of the creative people, who would often struggle for long periods of time trying to make something new. Creative people did not have to be creative all the time. They just had to be creative once and willing to cash in on that one flash of brilliance as much as humanly possible!

Flash forward to the twenty-first century, a time of robots and warfare and nuclear doom and genetic modifications and food shortages and energy wars. →  Professor Layton and the Diabolical Post

Lamecast #10 – And after the whole nation had been circumcised, they remained where they were in camp until they were healed

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Celebrate the tenth lamecast with us by listening to the crew bash just about everything and everyone they can think of. Christian reveals his angry side, Alexis stands up for a goddess in a game she’s never played, Casey is ashamed of his Sims, and Don will soon be engaged in a lawsuit with George Broussard thanks to some creative editing.

Review – Dark Souls

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Indie games aren’t always incredible. I’ve had great experiences with Mount & Blade, The Spirit Engine 2, and World of Goo. After these outstanding games, my expectations were high coming into Warfare Studios’ Dark Souls, which is a classic-style RPG with a darker-than-usual plot… perhaps a bit too high.

The first thing that should have lowered the bar was the fact that it was clearly made in some flavor of RPGMaker. RPGMaker games have been around for years – every time I have tried one, I stopped playing in less than an hour due to difficulty and/or incredibly bad production/script quality. Everyone wants to make the next Final Fantasy VI, but nobody has the passion and ability to create good artwork, compose fitting music, and write a polished script. Teams larger than two or three tend to dissolve due to a lack of sustained interest or go nowhere, and the end result is that the games that are released just don’t seem that great. →  You had me at read more.