Review – Freshly-Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland

Tingle is a range of stylized sexual enhancements from Durex, defined by creating a tingling sensation during coitus. The tingling sensation is derived from mint extract. It comes in two distinct forms: condoms and an water-based lube. The sexual enhancer lube has received some criticism as the tingling sensation has received negative reviews when used internally.

You see what I did there? I made a joke. You see, I am reviewing a DS game called “Freshly-Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland” which of course features the unwelcome addition to the Zelda series, Tingle. But, and this is the crux of the joke, Durex ( also have a brand called “Tingle”. Oh, the hilarity.

Right, so, this “game” starts with Tingle’s journey to becoming Tingle, and his quest to get into “Rupeeland” where, and get this, women will touch him. →  Read the rest


So Eidos and Square Enix are now in cahoots. Considering both these guys are huge players in the industry, this merger is considerably underwhelming. It was actually made even more underwhelming when it was announced that Squeenix were not going to change the way was Eidos was working (at least in the first year). Personally, I was hoping for a radical name change along the lines of “Squeidos-X” or “Eidarenix”, but no…

When I originally heard of the buy-over, I originally thought, “Nice! Maybe we can have some cool Squeenix/Eidos crossover titles.” However, when I started to think about the possible franchises I was underwhelmed yet again! I mean seriously what do Eidos have to offer in the way of franchises?

Well there is one big one, Tomb Raider, but all the recent ones have been bug-ridden, Lara-raping, soulless ca$h-ins. →  Read the rest

Marvel vs Capcom 2 comes to XBLA

Oh my holy mother of all that is pure and good!!

Marvel vs Capcom 2 on XBLA!!

For those of you who don’t know what Marvel vs. Capcom is, it is a 2D fighter where characters from the Marvel and Capcom universes* can battle one another. The Marvel characters range from the heroes such as Spiderman and the Xmen, to the villains such as Venom and Magneto (even the sentinels).

The Capcom side, of course, has the 2D fighters from the Streetfighter and Darkstalkers games, but it also includes some other characters from the Capcom universe including the likes of Megaman, Strider and our, infrequent-if-you-can-convince-you-partner-to-dress-up-as-her-but-realise-that-taking-off-the-clothes-will-ruin-it-so-you-just-go-for-some-oral-favours-but-after-you-dump-your-plasma-and-a-little-bit-gets-on-the-pristinely-stitched-beret-you-feel-ashamed-that-you-have-defaced-and-humiliated-the-one-and-only-image-that-you-should-have-kept-on-a-pedestal-and-make-a-note-that-next-time-you-should-try-for-Ada-as-we-all-know-she’s-filthy-and-if-you-go-for-Resident-Evil-4-Ada-you-can-get-access-under-her-dress, favourite character: Jill Valentine.

The game has 3v3 combat which allows for tagging and assists. And this one is gonna come in a super smooth, velvety, just lubed enough, spank and it dribbles, honeydew glistening, moist, sweet, pleasant, HD version. →  Read the rest