Editorials

Here is where we weigh in on all of the important issues that effect today’s world. There are so many things to complain about: developers, publishers, retailers, other gamers, the market as a whole, gaming technology, gaming related technology, gaming politics, gaming court cases, Japan, trends, current events, past events, future events and bioterrorism. We won’t silence an opinion just because it’s “unpopular” or “poorly reasoned,” so you can be sure we will always present at least one side of an issue. Think of us as the Fox News of gaming.

Review – Super Star Soldier on VC

by

Well, Nintendo promised to release new Virtual Console titles every Monday, but I would have expected a little more than just one title. Thankfully, that one title is pretty superlicious: Super Star Soldier for the Turbografx-16.

I’ve actually never played this game before. I remember hearing about the updated version of the series on the GameCube (after Ikaruga set the precedence for the return of old-school shooters), but soon forgot about the fledgling series after the lower-than-average review scores. After purchasing the title on VC for a paltry 600 Wii Points ($6), however, I’m glad the TG-16 version made an appearance, 15 years after its release.

It isn’t the most innovative shooter around, but that’s why I like it. Ikaruga was basically the first shooter that I ever played, but the black/white dichotomy of the game made my head spin too much. Soon I would long for a game where I could just blow the crap out of anything and everything. →  I regret learning to read.

Next Generation?

by

I was reading a piece of literature about the Wii the other day. You know, the usual suspect: the glossy ten page magazine saying that the product will revolutionise whatever market it is coming to. Surprisingly, it was an interesting little mag, but it was two words that caught my eye. “New Generation.”? These two words by themselves mean little to anybody, but let me be nice and put them into context for you: “It’s better to think of the Wii as a new generation console rather than next generation.” This throwaway media statement got me thinking more than it should have, and now I’m wondering, what actually makes a next generation game?

The more helpful way to look at the “next generation”? is to start by considering the Xbox 360. It’s been around for almost a year now, which is more than ample time to really cement it as a next generation console. But what is it that makes it next generation? →  Tokyo Xtreme Reader: Drift 2

Do Arcades Even Exist Anymore?

by

Just got done with a vacation with the family on the world’s largest cruise ship, the Freedom of the Seas (Royal Caribbean). Why am I telling you this? Well, first, to make you jealous of my amazing Golden Jew lifestyle. But second, because cruise boats are one of the last places you’ll find an arcade.

Arcades–remember those? I certainly do. They were the ultimate destination growing up, at least for me. I remember begging my parents to give me quarters to go play at the mall arcade. I remember the glee of the giant arcades at the Santa Cruz boardwalk in California. Arcades have always been special to me–not only as a gamer, but my father’s cousin used to run one of the most well known arcades in New York City–the Broadway Arcade. It was later closed when their lease was up, to be replaced by Gold’s Gym. The management refused to renew their lease, they felt the clientele of a Gold’s (steroid users and anorexic chicks) was preferable to idle teenagers and deadbeat 20somethings. →  Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.

Wii Component Cables, Where Art Thou?

by

Man, not having component cables for your Wii is just gut-wrenching, let me tell you. A composite picture is so crappy when compared to component. I’ve been using an HD setup for about 6 months now, and I seriously hate looking at a composite signal. It’s way too muted and blurry.

You know when people say the colors for a game are very bland and boring? Yeah, that’s because they are looking at the game through a composite signal. The colors through component, however, are extremely vibrant and beautiful, even when they use realistic colors like gray and brown. And you don’t even really need a TV with progressive scan. From the untrained eye, progressive scan just makes things sharper. Component seems to bring out a better picture concerning colors and contrast.

There are some times where I just want to stop playing whatever it is I’m playing, and wait until I get the Nintendo-branded Wii Component cables.

Which is far easier said than done. →  A delayed article is eventually good, a rushed article is all we post.

Enough with the androgynous characters

by

Team Ninja is obsessed with breasts. This happens to be an obsession most American men (and women) share. Game after game, Tecmo and many other publishers give us girls that make Dolly Pardon look prepubescent. Most thoughtful gamers (or prudes) have already declared this tendency absurd, or at least unrealistic.

Arguing that Team Ninja should be neutered is a position that is seen as pro-women and inclusive. Call Final Fantasy characters effeminate, on the other hand, and you invite accusations of homophobia and narrow-mindedness. Before I justify my stance on the character design of Final Fantasy games and many other Japanese titles, let me first establish what I mean when I say the art is effeminate.

Squall from Final Fantasy VIII looking coy in his furry coat is a good example. Notice how pretty his hair is and his elegant stud earring.

Tidus from Final Fantasy X leaning back, his hair wet, almost exploding in orgasm. What beautiful porcelain skin.

Someone from Final Fantasy XII with a rounded face, thick, pouty lips and beautiful skin. →  Xenosaga 2: Jenseits von Gut und Pöst

A FPS Japan likes

by

Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu has given Red Steel for the Wii a very nice review score of 34/40. This would be an 8.5 in English. American reviewers have not responded to the game well, but the odd thing is, besides Nintendo Power’s review, Red Steels two highest scores came from European sources (NGamer UK, Computer and Video Games UK). These Euro-sources are the only two obviously non-American reviews of the game, too.

So does this mean anything? Do foreigners like Red Steel more than decent, hardworking, red blooded Americans? The Japanese enjoying the title makes some sense. The country has never been impressed with our FPS output and the genre didn’t really catch on there. So a FPS with a different control scheme, more Japaneseness, and possibly added suck appeals to them. Maybe Ubisoft has found a way to sell America’s favorite genre to the Japanese. If they polish their Red Steel for the sequel, maybe they’ll have a hit in Asia. →  Speak softly and carry a big post.

Do PS3 owners have small penises?

by

“Well that’s because the wii sucks!!!! The only reason people want it is because they either never got thier dream Playstation 3 or they want it for Zelda. Apparently i think zelda aint worth 300 bucks with tax. I’ll take my chances with the ps3. Also i heard playstation 2 graphics almost outbeat wii graphics, and ain’t nothin close to the Playstation 3.”

This kind of clever repartee is easily found on any message board.

“Good for you, im glad you kids are excited about this.. maybe when youre old enough to get a job you can get a Ps3..like me.”

But something struck me about this post besides the poor punctuation. To some people, the PS3 is a status symbol. It’s expensive, shiny and new, and therefore owning it makes you cool. Is it possible that there are those who are lining up to buy a PS3 for the same reason some men buy absurdly priced sports cars?

Penis jokes aside, we may be entering into an age of luxury game consoles. →  Guitar Hero III: Legends of Read

Wii worries

by

Well here it is folks. The biggest weekend gaming has probably ever had. The PS3 and the Wii launch within two days of each other, and after Sunday, the next gen will become the current gen.

There is (or at least I think there is) a lot written about how these two consoles represent two vastly different approaches to gaming and marketing. That’s not what I’m here to talk about. While my excitement for Nintendo’s new box is at fever pitch, it’s still a huge gamble, and I’m still not sure if it will all work out. With the PS3 now out, and the Wii is just hours away, I’ve got a few final reflections before the battle begins.

The PS3 Factor
For the last six months gamers have barbequed Sony about the huge amount of blunders and overall arrogance that has defined the road to the Playstation 3. It has gotten to the point where it seems that all but the most diehard Sony loyalists want the company to falter, at least a little bit. →  Contains 10% more consonants than comparable articles.

Wii Midnight Madness

by

In the last 24 hours, people have been beaten, robbed, and shot for their PS3’s. The demand for the system is at an all-time high right now, but, amazingly, for all the wrong reasons. As has been stated all over the Internet, a lot of the people waiting on a line for the PS3 have now put their new warez on eBay, hoping to take advantage of little Billy’s moronic parents. They’re definitely going to get their money, but some of those lucky sellers thieved their way into that rather large bonus.

I’m writing this blog in hopes that the Nintendo Wii launch this Saturday night goes a lot smoother. Please, everyone, don’t act foolish or selfish. Nintendo has promised a huge supply of Wii’s, and there should be no problem when walking into your local Wal-mart, or what have you, to pick one up. If getting a system means getting shot or beaten, trust me, it’s not worth it. The Wii is indeed special, but it’s not worth your immediate death. →  You fool. Don’t you understand? No one wishes to read on…

EGM takes a side in the console war

by

Can the media change the outcome of an election? Who cares. The more important question is – Can the media impact console sales? Electronic Gaming Monthly’s newest issue has an article comparing the Wii to the PS3 (all or most of which is reprinted here). After each comparison, like hardware, control, games, etc. the author(s) pick a “winner.” The PS3 won more categories than the Wii but EGM promises the battle is not over yet; next issue they will pick the ultimate champion.
 

Numbers from December of ’03 say EGM has over 500 thousand subscribers. This is a decent number, but when considering that most people who run gaming sites read EGM, the numbers alone do not reflect the magazines influence.

So will the console they pick dominate the next generation because they picked it? No, but it will still alter how a lot of potential customers see each system. The larger issue at stake is that of journalistic integrity and responsibility. →  I’m readin’ here!