Editorials

Here is where we weigh in on all of the important issues that effect today’s world. There are so many things to complain about: developers, publishers, retailers, other gamers, the market as a whole, gaming technology, gaming related technology, gaming politics, gaming court cases, Japan, trends, current events, past events, future events and bioterrorism. We won’t silence an opinion just because it’s “unpopular” or “poorly reasoned,” so you can be sure we will always present at least one side of an issue. Think of us as the Fox News of gaming.

Enough with the androgynous characters

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Team Ninja is obsessed with breasts. This happens to be an obsession most American men (and women) share. Game after game, Tecmo and many other publishers give us girls that make Dolly Pardon look prepubescent. Most thoughtful gamers (or prudes) have already declared this tendency absurd, or at least unrealistic.

Arguing that Team Ninja should be neutered is a position that is seen as pro-women and inclusive. Call Final Fantasy characters effeminate, on the other hand, and you invite accusations of homophobia and narrow-mindedness. Before I justify my stance on the character design of Final Fantasy games and many other Japanese titles, let me first establish what I mean when I say the art is effeminate.

Squall from Final Fantasy VIII looking coy in his furry coat is a good example. →  PaReader the Reader

A FPS Japan likes

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Japanese gaming magazine Famitsu has given Red Steel for the Wii a very nice review score of 34/40. This would be an 8.5 in English. American reviewers have not responded to the game well, but the odd thing is, besides Nintendo Power’s review, Red Steels two highest scores came from European sources (NGamer UK, Computer and Video Games UK). These Euro-sources are the only two obviously non-American reviews of the game, too.

So does this mean anything? Do foreigners like Red Steel more than decent, hardworking, red blooded Americans? The Japanese enjoying the title makes some sense. The country has never been impressed with our FPS output and the genre didn’t really catch on there. So a FPS with a different control scheme, more Japaneseness, and possibly added suck appeals to them. →  Shadow of Read

Do PS3 owners have small penises?

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“Well that’s because the wii sucks!!!! The only reason people want it is because they either never got thier dream Playstation 3 or they want it for Zelda. Apparently i think zelda aint worth 300 bucks with tax. I’ll take my chances with the ps3. Also i heard playstation 2 graphics almost outbeat wii graphics, and ain’t nothin close to the Playstation 3.”

This kind of clever repartee is easily found on any message board.

“Good for you, im glad you kids are excited about this.. maybe when youre old enough to get a job you can get a Ps3..like me.”

But something struck me about this post besides the poor punctuation. To some people, the PS3 is a status symbol. →  Read, I am your father!

Wii worries

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Well here it is folks. The biggest weekend gaming has probably ever had. The PS3 and the Wii launch within two days of each other, and after Sunday, the next gen will become the current gen.

There is (or at least I think there is) a lot written about how these two consoles represent two vastly different approaches to gaming and marketing. That’s not what I’m here to talk about. While my excitement for Nintendo’s new box is at fever pitch, it’s still a huge gamble, and I’m still not sure if it will all work out. With the PS3 now out, and the Wii is just hours away, I’ve got a few final reflections before the battle begins.

The PS3 Factor
For the last six months gamers have barbequed Sony about the huge amount of blunders and overall arrogance that has defined the road to the Playstation 3. →  Fear the old posts.

Wii Midnight Madness

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In the last 24 hours, people have been beaten, robbed, and shot for their PS3’s. The demand for the system is at an all-time high right now, but, amazingly, for all the wrong reasons. As has been stated all over the Internet, a lot of the people waiting on a line for the PS3 have now put their new warez on eBay, hoping to take advantage of little Billy’s moronic parents. They’re definitely going to get their money, but some of those lucky sellers thieved their way into that rather large bonus.

I’m writing this blog in hopes that the Nintendo Wii launch this Saturday night goes a lot smoother. Please, everyone, don’t act foolish or selfish. Nintendo has promised a huge supply of Wii’s, and there should be no problem when walking into your local Wal-mart, or what have you, to pick one up. →  Finger lickin’ read.

EGM takes a side in the console war

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Can the media change the outcome of an election? Who cares. The more important question is – Can the media impact console sales? Electronic Gaming Monthly’s newest issue has an article comparing the Wii to the PS3 (all or most of which is reprinted here). After each comparison, like hardware, control, games, etc. the author(s) pick a “winner.” The PS3 won more categories than the Wii but EGM promises the battle is not over yet; next issue they will pick the ultimate champion.
 

Numbers from December of ’03 say EGM has over 500 thousand subscribers. This is a decent number, but when considering that most people who run gaming sites read EGM, the numbers alone do not reflect the magazines influence. →  50 Cent: Readproof

Capcom Compilations

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So a trip to my local Gamestop enlightened me to two nice little releases from Capcom. It seems the store is selling exclusive 3 game boxsets for Devil May Cry and Resident Evil. You can get all three DMC games for just $30, while $40 nabs you the three Cube exclusive Resi’s (REmake, Zero and 4, which was at least initially exclusive). Both packages come in rather nice boxes, though there seem to be no other special items along with them.
 

I think this a pretty great idea from Capcom. The prices for both sets are very reasonable, especially for the Resident Evils. Despite the fact that most of these games are quite old, something like this could easily go for $20 more if they wanted to. →  Read it your way.

Yet another peculiar top 10 list

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Slightly (extremely) bitter about not having my stories picked up by the big sites, I scour Slashdot, Kotaku, etc for sub par stories that gets attention on a daily basis. Today’s highlight is a top 10 list (where’d they get the idea for this one?) on the “10 lamest game consoles, ever.” Ignore the fiery rage that builds within you when you see misplaced commas and other grammar atrocities. For now, focus on the gross injustice of including the Saturn amongst the Virtual Boy, CDi, 32X and N-Gage.

The guy who proclaimed Prince of Persia: Warrior Within one of the worst games of all time clearly had some input in forming this list. Please name for me the classics for the consoles on this list:

Action Max
N Gage
32X
Gizmondo

In turn, I will name amazing Saturn games: Guardian Heroes, NiGHTS, Panzer Dragoon, Panzer Dragoon Zwei, Panzer Dragoon Saga, Shining Force 3, Dragon Force, and Bomberman. →  All you need is read.

What the dilly with the DS?

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I was psyched for a handful of recent DS releases but then the reviews came. Yes, reviews aren’t gospel, but they aren’t as worthless as fanboys would like you to believe (for an interesting case study on the power of denial, visit the Sega forums). These once promising DS games now look significantly less promising.

The first of the bunch is Children of Mana. I don’t know why I expected anything from this game after Legend of Mana sucked so hard. Perhaps it’s the small hope I still carry that one day there will be another game in the series as good as Secret of Mana. Most reviewers describe the game as a “slow,” or “boring,” dungeon crawl with barely any plot. →  Rule of Read

1UP-manship: A sad day to be a Journalist

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I think nearly everyone on the planet (or at least in the gaming community) has heard about 1UP’s Neverwinter Nights 2 disaster. If not, it went something like this: 1UP decided that their recently completed Neverwinter Nights 2 review did, and I quote: “a disservice to fans of the RPG genre.”

Both you and I know that that’s a bit vague, so I’ve decided to get to the bottom of the fiasco and find out what the real reason was for the pulling. Seeing as though I’m neither a super spy nor a private detective though, it’ll probably be speculation.

Possibility 1 — The review was actually a bit shit
Allegedly, the first time the review was submitted by Matt Peckham (who is a freelancer) he was asked to toddle away and make it a little bit more polished. →  Now bear my arctic post.