Reviews

Review – Devil May Cry 3

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Charlton Heston defends Dante’s right to own a gun capable of unleashing God’s wrath.

As I mentioned in our last episode, Devil May Cry 2 was indicative of the dark side of Capcom; the side that sees a hot new series and can’t help but try to run it into the ground with sequels of questionable quality. Of course, that also means that there is a good side to the company (which, judging by my stack of games, has been popping up a lot more often). This good side is on display when they focus on making polished, highly playable games that don’t try to be derivative or innovative, but instead are whatever the hell they want to be. Lucky for us, this was their only choice when it came to creating Devil May Cry 3. →  Hell is other gamers.

Review – Meteos

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As I have argued elsewhere on this site, I think Nintendo is doing wild and crazy things with their new age of systems that, if a few things fall into place correctly, will allow Nintendo to become a serious player again in the coming console war. They have simplified controls to the point that they are no longer intimidating to non-gamers and created games that appeal to entire demographics that are not traditionally interested in gaming. Meteos is the perfect example of how this strategy can succeed.

Blasting dirty hippy peace signs off of a planet is very rewarding.

Meteos is a straightforward puzzle game. Using the stylus, you line up at least three blocks of the same color, which then “launch.” →  Videolamer does what IGNotDoes.

Review – Frequency

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Tron? Rez? A seizure?

So here it is, Harmonix’s first console game, Frequency. The gameplay is essentially the same as playing DDR with a pad; notes cascade along the screen, and you hit buttons along to the beat. But Frequency isn’t about simulating dance steps — the angle here is on music generation and remixing. In this respect, the game manages to provide a unique experience that is only possible thanks to the nature of videogames. On the other hand, like DDR on a pad, there’s only so much fun that can be had with such basic gameplay. Harmonix tries to add some features to make it more like an arcade shooter, but ultimately Frequency walks a very fine line between being an actual game and just an interesting tool. →  Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatarticle

Review – Devil May Cry 2

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DMC 2 was absolutely grilled when it was brand new. Okay, so maybe grilled is too strong of a word – the shills at Gamepro still manage to slip it a 7+ review as is their fashion. Still, most reviewers were not at all thrilled, and made it very clear that this sequel was a severe downgrade from its predecessor.

Take this, you stupid wall!

Yet despite all the bashing, the bad words, and the obvious warning signs, I felt compelled to check this game out. Part of it was the completionist in me wanting to finish the entire trilogy. Part of it was the fact that many of those same reviews were filled with glaring errors (complaining about moves that debuted in the first game) and more smarmy jokes than actual criticism. →  Rayman Reading Rabbids

Review – The Ship

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This game is 50% murder, 50% fashion.

Wander over to the video game design laboratory, and mix together a bizarre concoction of FPS, the Sims, and old school board game Clue, and you’ve got yourself The Ship Online, a Steam based game developed by Outer Limits. Originally a mod for Half-Life, The Ship followed in Counters Strike’s footsteps of selling out. In this fun filled game, you run around a 1930’s luxury cruise ship, being hunted by other passengers while seeking your own quarry to cruelly execute through any number of bizarre ways.

Ordinarily, I couldn’t care less about a game’s back story, but in The Ship’s case it’s helpful to explain the game’s bizarre premise and how it plays out. →  Welcome to the Fantasy Zone.

Review – Super Smash Brothers Melee

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Down and Out: Super Smash Brothers Melee and the glory that is the KO

If Luigi doesn’t come down from there he’s going to miss the orgy.

Oh, 2D fighting games. At first glance, they seem like the wet dreams of nine year-old video game enthusiasts: smashing a whole bunch of buttons will result in smorgasbord of pain and, with a bit of luck, embarrassment for the poor sap from down the street who always comes over because he doesn’t have the coolest system. But after a while, the whole genre seems, well played out. Sure, the numerous Capcom games where various X-Men or Marvel characters fight against obscure characters from every single game Capcom has ever released ever (US or Japan) may be fun for a while, but they quickly lose their spark. →  Get lame or get out.

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Review – Devil May Cry

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Now that I look back, a lot of action games from the N64/Playstation era were trash. Most involved rudimentary combos, bad controls, and unnecessary platforming elements. They weren’t good at taking advantage of 3d, and looked ugly as sin to boot. You were better off finding a copy of Final Fight or Contra if you wanted a polished action experience.

Even today, it isn’t hard to see why those classic 2d action games were, and still are, so damn good. They realized the importance of simple, precise control that gave the player all the tools they needed to succeed against the onslaught of enemies. Victory required the player to keep a cool head among the chaos, and to find enemies’ weaknesses by recognizing patterns. →  Jet fuel can’t melt videolamer.

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Review – Kingdom Hearts

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I’m not sure why Jay asked me to review Kingdom Hearts. The game is fairly old by now, and just about everyone who wanted to play it already has. Then there’s the fact that the sequel has been out for months. Looks like I’m a little late to the party, but I still intend to crash it.

Kingdom Hearts is a perfectly mediocre game. At its best it was a lighthearted diversion, one that I could play while enjoying my then-girlfriend’s company while not having to think too hard about it. At its worst it was a mess of poorly implemented design choices based on typical Square drudgery and messy, stolen scraps from the Book of Miyamoto. If I had any care for in game stories, I probably wouldn’t have finished, as the game takes Disney characters and plots and compresses them into dull, mediocre shells of their former selves that are more offensive than enjoyable. →  Destroy All Articles! 2

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Review – Street Fighter Alpha Anthology

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Yeah, the menus are that simple.

The last few years have been tough for Street Fighter fans. As 2d gaming continues to wane, Capcom is far too wary to release anything new, for fear that even something as big as Street Fighter 4 would not sell enough to warrant the cost of development. Instead, they’ve decided to take the conservative route with their 2d offerings, either by cobbling together something quick and dirty like Capcom Fighting Jam, or by releasing compilations of their older stuff. Many people frown at the concept, since Capcom rarely give fans what they want (even though they’re the target audience) and because the games exist solely for the company to milk its prize franchises as much as possible

Of course this is all true, but I don’t really mind the idea of compilations. →  The review for ‘Shark Sandwich’ was merely a two word review which simply read ‘Read Sandwich.’

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Review – Killer 7

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There was once a silly, fluffy intro here, until I realized it wasn’t necessary for Killer 7. No matter what pages of forum analyses may claim, this is a simple game, both gameplay wise and story wise. Yes it is weird as hell and artsy in structure. And no, I don’t claim to “get” everything about it, but if you ask me there are a lot of people out there that don’t understand what this game is all about. Here’s a hint; all you need to do is stop thinking so damn much.

First things first; Killer 7 is not an action game. It is not a rail shooter. And most importantly, it is not survival horror. I’ve heard all of these names applied, and none of them make sense. →  All you need is read.

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