Parents just don’t understand

My parents recently started reading this website. I’m confident they are happy with what their 120 thousand dollar college investment has yielded. The down side is I may have to watch my language and sexual innuendos from now on because those things didn’t exist in the olden days and would surely shock anyone over 30.

A more disturbing problem is that my parents have no idea what any of these articles are about. It’s a proven fact that most specialized fields use vocabulary outsiders cannot understand just for the sake of being exclusionary (cardiac arrest? Yeah, sure doctor, those are real words). Gaming journalism is no different and I’m afraid this site is part of the problem. What problem, I’m not sure, possibly global warming.

Because my parents never discouraged my gaming and only encouraged me to get off my ass from time to time, I owe it to them to explain some of the terms this site uses on a daily basis.


Some old woman invented it 20 or 30 years ago, even before the first Atari.


Electricity goes into these. They now come with shows that aren’t stupid.

Game system (console)

These attach to TVs and also make use of electricity. You refused to buy this particular system for me, but the Sega CD had at least three good games. Now who looks stupid?


It connects to the game system and hopefully withstands being thrown into walls.


Reminds you of me, doesn’t it? These people use the controller to communicate with the game console and this interaction is displayed on the TV (electricity is also important in all of these steps, as is having a game to play).

I hope that lesson cleared everything up, mom and dad. You’ll be quizzed on the history of rotoscoping when I see you for Easter. Now take this newfound knowledge and enjoy the rest of the site.

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16 years ago


Also, I really wish I had not read this article? Because now I have to worry about how your mom is going to be reading everything I write… Son of a bitch. (Not Jay Mrs. S, I meant someone else.)