golden jew

EA: Level 10 alchemists, Level 1 Tech Support Part 2

When we last left our heroes, they were encountering fucktardery of the highest order at EA while trying to get a replacement Rock Band guitar. After muddling his way through their horrible tech support, my roommate managed to talk to a real human being who was able to fix the problem. Days later, a new guitar showed up. Even better, there was no accountability attached to the guitar to indicate we needed to return the foot pedal they had mistakenly sent. Gleeful, we were in the process of trying to figure out how to scam EA. Our thought was that we might install the new foot pedal and attempt to return the old one for a SECOND new foot pedal. This would arm us with a spare in the event of a foot pedal malfunction.

I got home today and asked my roommate what the guitar shaped box in our living room was – was it the old guitar box from our replacement? He wasn’t sure, so I went over and lifted it – and it felt awful heavy. Could it be a second guitar? Had Santa Claus hijacked the EA Rock Band return system and sent us a present? This thought seemed unlikely to me, since I’m Jewish and all.

In short: yes. For reasons we can’t fully comprehend, they sent us a second guitar. Our thoughts are that either an open email ticket (which was ignored in frustration by my roommate), or perhaps the initial screw up sorted itself not knowing we had already secured a second guitar. And since there’s no credit card or any other way of holding us accountable, they have absolutely no way of enforcing a return.

Rather than be content, we’re now back to plotting what to do with the extra pedal. Who would have thought this story would have ended with our getting two guitars instead of zero? Not me.

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