I love zombies. I love zombies so much that I would be lying if I said there weren’t nights that I have gone to bed hoping to wake up the following morning in a full-blown zombacalypse. In many ways this column and my video game store are in a state of zombie purgatory, not quite …
Author Archive
Tales From Behind the Counter - The Walking Dead
Friday, June 27th, 2008 by tysonTales From Behind The Counter - A Time of Loathing
Monday, June 16th, 2008 by tysonWhen working in retail there is one time of year you dread above all others: the holidays. It means angry customers with no time and no money, pissed off that they have to brave ice covered roads and bumper car parking lots instead of being gleeful and warm in the comfort of their own homes. …
Tales From Behind The Counter - Lost Treasures, Trade-Ins, and Drugs
Friday, May 16th, 2008 by tysonI should preface this installment by saying that I am a pack rat. I always have been and probably always will be. When I die, my relatives will come to clean out my house and find stacks and stacks of old newspapers, every wrapper of the slices of Velveeta cheese I had eaten over the …
Tales From Behind The Counter - An Xbox In The Bathroom
Friday, May 9th, 2008 by tysonTo be truly honest, this week has been pretty tame in Video Game Store land. No crazed pedophiles, no extremely stupid customers, just a couple of stores full of video games and me, tooling around behind the counter like robot in malaise. This is the perfect time to give you an honest glimpse of how …
Tales From Behind the Counter - Santa Claus Cometh
Friday, May 2nd, 2008 by tysonLast night, I walked into a video game store that was swamped with trade-ins. I could barely make out my manager and another co-worker behind the counter for the stacks of NES games that were piled before them; it was like Christmas…of 1989. Classics like Ice Breakers, Ducktales, RC Pro-Am, and countless others littered the …
Tales From Behind The Counter - Mutant Powers of Femdom
Friday, April 25th, 2008 by tysonOne thing that sets my store apart from other video games retailers is our game testing stations. Each of the two stores I flutter between during the week is equipped with just about every major gaming console made in the last twenty years and we encourage people to try out the games before they take …
Tales From Behind The Counter - I Am A Snobby Bastard
Friday, April 18th, 2008 by tysonIt is inevitable that this topic is going to come up so I will tackle it now. Today’s secret word is a fun one: elitist. When I hear that word, my initial response is a simple, “Yes. I. Am.”
Every genre of media has its upper echelon of assholes who insist that their opinion on the …
Tales From Behind The Counter - The Long Joystick of the Law
Friday, April 11th, 2008 by tysonLast night I achieved a sales goal that I don’t think will ever be topped by another mortal.
It was a quiet evening and my boss, Jason, and I were being good little worker bees. Alphabetizing and sorting titles, rearranging aisles, trying to restructure the layout of my store so that it may actually generate a …
Tales From Behind The Counter - Come One, Come all! Hear my tales of Mystery and Excitement!
Friday, April 4th, 2008 by tysonWelcome to the inaugural release of my new and (hopefully) weekly column. Since returning to America, I have found myself short on cash and pretty much willing to do anything for a buck or two. Yes, I have even tried to sell my body but for some reason or another, most prospective customers frown upon …
Teabagging and Halo 3 – An Anthropological Study
Monday, March 3rd, 2008 by tysonThe Muffin Buffalo stalks through the corridors and crevasses of The Narrows map on Halo 3. Quietly he roams, picking his targets and releasing them from their mortal coils. He has done this many times before and is good at his job. Out of nowhere, a fellow warrior named SheepandVelcro69 jabs Muffin Buffalo from behind …
