Do we have to?
I hope that the delay in the World of Warcraft movie (which apparently is still being planned) is a result of them deciding to not make it about Orcs and Wizards and all that crap but instead, about the broken marriages, child neglect, olestra o.d.’ing and all that stuff that goes …
Author Archive
Crap Dump 10.16.08
Thursday, October 16th, 2008 by derekVideo Review - Space Chimps
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008 by derekVideo Review - Hail to the Chimp
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 by derekWe bring you the first ever video video game review. Welcome to the world of tomorrow.
Review - Lost in Blue 3
Monday, July 21st, 2008 by derekHey guys, there’s a island survival game with the word “lost” in it. It has flashbacks, a secret lab, mysterious blah blahs, and blah blah blah. Sound familiar? Surprisingly, Lost in Blue 3 is the first of the series that grossly appropriates themes from the um… “popular” TV series Lost, and it makes the game …
Riding the FAQ train
Thursday, July 17th, 2008 by derekWhile they’re called “walkthroughs,” I’ve always been under the impression that very few gamers actually “walk through,” point by point, every single bit of advice and strategy that exists in these documents. Since I have a profound belief in the desire of humans to be lazy and cheat their way through life, I of course …
Murdering children does not grant you magical powers - More thoughts on good and evil in games
Monday, June 2nd, 2008 by derekI started to write this as a postview of one of my favorite games, Beyond Good & Evil, when it occurred to me that there has been a lot of talk over here at videolamer recently about, well, good & evil. Shota seems annoyed both that so many games are overwhelmed by universe destroying, …
GTAIV perfectly captures look and feel of fictitious city
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 by derekWhen you get a postcard, do you look at the photo of the Grand Canyon or the Eifel tower or whatever and go “oh my god! It’s so lifelike! It’s like I’m actually there!!!!” No, of course you don’t. Similarly, I should have realized - before I shelled out my 60+ dollars yesterday - that …
GET PAID TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES!
Thursday, April 24th, 2008 by derekI like having sex. Who doesn’t, right? (answer: Condoleezza Rice) That said, I don’t think that I would be a ho if it were somehow possible. I like to choose who I have sex with, and I don’t think I could do it all day, and it’s illegal and immoral and dirty and all that. …
Review - Real Soccer 2008
Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 by derekWhen I first spotted “Real Soccer” in my local game shop, I was initially under the impression that the game’s name was an indication of a metaphysical breakthrough at Ubisoft labs. Sick of titles stuck with the “virtual” nomenclature, Ubisoft had determined - Matrix-like - that they could decide what is and is not …
Review - Flash Focus
Monday, March 31st, 2008 by derekLike smoking crack and murdering people, I don’t like MMORPG’s, even though I’ve never tried them. I think the reason can be traced back to the first one I can remember: Ultima Online. In the abject depression of my teenage years, when I spent most of my time in a filthy basement (oh …
